Ready... set... engage.

Category: Language and Culture

Post 1 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 01-Oct-2006 21:07:30

I wonder about this engagement thing. I have been asking around about it. What is it's purpose? Does it exist in every culture? If the purpose of engagement is to announce to everyone that your getting married, wouldn't getting married just eliminate that that process? The best that I have heard so far is that engagements are learned, passed down. It serves a traditional purpose, but what is it's purpose? Married people please respond, single people who have considered getting married please respond, and men, please respond. The reason for asking these people to respond is that I want to understand how the men view the topic, as well as couples or people that got married, as well as people who thought over marriage and jjust for some reason or another didn't go through with it. Let the good times roll!

Post 2 by SingerOfSongs (Heresy and apostasy is how progress is made.) on Monday, 02-Oct-2006 14:38:50

Well I've heard of it being used as a commitment that people intend to get maried, but is a buffer of time to sort of make sure that the couple in question thinks they can make it work. I've heard it suggested to people to make a engagement period of a year for this purpose. Honestly though, you bring up a good question, one that, for myself, hadn't really considered before.

Post 3 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 02-Oct-2006 19:33:46

I think it's a good idea because as previously stated, it's a test period, and, that's a good thing me thinks.

Post 4 by Devious_Britches (smarty pants) on Monday, 02-Oct-2006 23:52:47

I think it's to state that you are not just wasting time and that you are interested.

Post 5 by UnknownQuantity (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 03-Oct-2006 7:22:59

I think it's a symbol of committment and that you plan to make things longterm / a life time if possible.

Post 6 by Resonant (Find me alive.) on Tuesday, 03-Oct-2006 7:44:06

Hmmm. Engagement, betrothal, promised in marriage. Kind of a cool concept really, considering that it seems to serve a pretty important purpose, cross-culturally and throughout history. The time between announcing intentions to tie the knot and the big day. I think people need that time for all sorts of things. To settle douries and financial matters between families, if you're in a setting where that's how it works, or to get permission from anyone you need to, or to freak out a lot about invitations and table settings and ice sculptures, or for your friends to get used to the fact that, yeah. This one's sticking around. Maybe you need a while to finish a degree, or save up enough to get a place together, or to pick out china patterns, or to get everyone's parents in the same room a few times and see if anything explodes.
In regency England, it was known as, Having an understanding. I like that one. The understanding that, even if it takes a while, while everyone works their bums off to be able to set up house, and have the ceremony they want, and get their families into line, you're both planning on sticking it out and making a go of it. For the long haul.